My 19-year-old daughter and I have this unbreakable bond, this connection, this trust, and it’s the most precious gift of all.
There is this trust, liability, we know that we can count on each other for everything. This trust was very important through her teenage years.
The wonderful truth is that we, as parents, can have this level of relationship with our children.
I’m giving you some tips from my journey, and I hope it will help you.
Since my daughter was born, I started doing everything with her. All my daily routines included her. As a single mother, I decided that she was never going to be alone, she would always have company. I talked a lot! It sounds a bit odd I know, but I had monologues about what we were doing, where we were going, everything.
This wasn’t seen as a good thing, some people would tell me that she had to learn to stay alone, to cry herself to sleep, but I couldn’t do that. I followed my heart, So, I stayed with her until she went to sleep. Always together, I said, since the day she was born.
2. Creating routines
As she was growing and going to kinder garden, we started new routines so she could have that safety feeling. Every day my daughter knew that I would pick her up, go to the park, have a walk and then go home.
Then we would play after it was bath time. I would prepare dinner and she was there with me. She would have dinner, then go to bed, I’d read stories to her and then she would go to sleep.
This made her feel safe.
We always talked about everything. Every question she asked wasn’t left unanswered. I didn’t follow the “only grown-up conversations”, because I didn’t underestimate her perception of the reality surrounding her.
Children have conversations at school between themselves about everything, which lead sometimes, to incorrect information so, I would tell her the truth, of course with the age-appropriate explanations. She learned that she could count on me to share her worries and opinions about everything, that I would be there for her always.
4. Telling the truth
The importance of believing in someone’s worth, and that we can trust each other, because we don’t lie.
The worst thing anyone can do is lie to me, and my daughter knew that. When she understood how important our worth is, we bonded even more.
Something I’ve always wanted to pass on to her was the importance of respecting others and be respected. From early on, she would always show respect for me and for the other adults and would always be upset if some colleague disrespected her. Now that she’s an adult, she has the same principles and she still tells me about how crucial this was for her.
6. Teenage phase
This is definitely the hardest and worrisome phase of any parent. They start being independent, and we have no idea what could be going on with them. This was the moment I felt like all of the hard work paid off. She felt comfortable enough and trusted me enough to talk to me about everything. Thankfully, she wasn’t a hard teenager but I’m a strong believer that she was the way she was because of the principles I was able to pass on to her.
I hope this post helped you.
Thank you for meeting me halfway.